brrip

Friday, September 04, 2009

time is running out

And so the summer comes to an end. Well, almost. Looking back at the past three months, it's a bit difficult being satisfied with how time just completely flew by, and when I stop to think about what I've 'gained' over this time, I'm drawing a complete blank. It's been uncertainty after uncertainty, not in any major life changing way but mostly a lack of decision-making on my part. Mostly it's been fun, maybe a bit too much of pointless fun, but then again fun is generally pointless isn't it?

20 days and it'll be back to the lecture theatres of the Cruciform, though I'm tempted to do it my way again just to prove a damn point. For now that is a bit secondary I suppose, since I have to go over and sort out my housing before everything else. London seems a bit daunting at this point, and I guess the only thing I can do right now is see how this plays out.

But really, I think everyone says this in their blog entries but life's not all that bad. I guess we all find something to be unhappy about, or happy about, it's just that the former is so much easier to articulate sometimes.

And now for the cryptic part of this entry, I shall judge people:
People who claim to be judgemental should at least try to buid some sort of perch on a moral high ground. Otherwise it's just call backstabbing. Burn, bitch.

++ quoth brrip at 1:32 PM

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Who is John Galt?

John Galt is Prometheus who changed his mind. After centuries of being torn by vultures in payment for having brought to men the fire of the gods, he broke his chains - and he withdrew his fire - until the day when men withdraw their vultures.

-Francisco d'Anconia, Atlas Shrugged

++ quoth brrip at 1:00 PM

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Day 1

Freedom doesn't always feel like freedom. But what better way to mark the end of two years of (compulsory) erm service than with an exam. The SATs.

Feels quite stupid though, retaking them for the essay and then coming out deeply dissatisfied with it because I spent 15 minutes stoning. Even so, it was an enlightening experience of random thoughts. Here are some:

If Dumbledore is gay, it gives a whole new angle to him asking Tom/Harry "Is there something you wish to tell me?"
If c apples cost n cents . . . (getitgetit? cn, sian? bad humour limited to writing, bet they didn't know what they were saying when they set the paper in the US)
How cool "the Next Episode" (from the Nokia advertisement) is, considering my new phone and my new freedom.
"God is in the rain" - Natalie Portman, V for Vendetta (no idea why, but I remember it as one of the subtle cool parts in the movie)

And after that was the BBQ which ended up with more liquor than food. And I'm glad I was sane enough to enjoy the sights when most others had lost it enough to create some very hilarious scenes.

And since this post is late, time to use the most overused line for this date:

Remember, remember the 5th of November

It helps that it's vaguely of importance.

++ quoth brrip at 6:46 PM

Friday, November 02, 2007

So, the way I see it, the 5th of Januray 06 just took a really long time to arrive.

++ quoth brrip at 3:25 PM

Sunday, October 21, 2007

inspiration

There are two types of people who live to inspire, those that view it as an extension of self and those who see it as redemption for self.

Hm.

++ quoth brrip at 9:03 PM

Sunday, August 26, 2007

What are you supposed to do when you're forced to face something you've spent so much time trying to avoid?

I guess as much as I (especially me being me) hate to admit it, there are some things you can just spend your whole life trying to understand and you'll just end up going in circles.

++ quoth brrip at 7:26 PM

Sunday, July 01, 2007

falling in love. (a tribute, a memory)

That constant search for the someone special in our lives, the hope of doubling our own existance by finding that other half, it's an unreal feeling to fall in love as we like to call it. It's the detachment from the rest of the world, that feeling of caring only about one single human being above all rest, and taking all the pains to give them the slightest comfort.

Love, my dear, is the purest feeling we know, because it speaks of the need to fall into someone's arms for the much needed rest, more than just physically. The need we all struggle to mask behind our individually lonely existances, the fears of someone peeping right into our soul - love is the lifting of these insecurities to a single person we deem special, we deem unjudging and understanding, someone we deem empathetic and not just sympathetic.

They say everyone needs someone, and this interdepedence on each other (just when symbiotic seems a little harsh) is the special relationship we do find eventually is the start we look for, a fresh perspective to a new phase in our lives. Suddenly our priorities become a compromise between who we are and who we want to be for our special one, and we want to juggle a lot more just to spend a few more special moments together.

It's funny, how this special experience is special each time it happens, and a heartbreak never tarnishes the exhileration and excitement when one is lovestruck again. Be it the fear of giving it all away in a single one-second-too-long glance, or pushing that very boundary in trying to get a definitive answer of how that desired other half feels - each time we struggle to trust our feelings, to be a little reckless but often being held back by the fears of "the last time".

Each time we teach ourselves to take a risk, and that one single time we do seize the right chance, the one time we choose to not hold back - that's the time we finally find someone who can keep our shoulders from slumping from disappointment, someone who can keep that smile on our face, someone who can love us and let us love them, without a worry and give us an honest belief when they tell us that everything will be alright.

"everything will be alright..."

++ quoth brrip at 8:29 PM

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

er, blasted

Okay i mean blessed, not quite but close to it. And blasted is the only word that came to mind which is close enough to it without being the word itself. Yes I believe that makes sense.

Right anyway, since I've left JC, I'm sure everyone reading this (at least to my knowledge) has heard me say it like a million times: I think all the shit I've gone through has altered who I was, and I want that old self back. I've said it various times for various reasons, but I sure do say that a lot don't I.

WELL, somehow for the past one week, along with all the shit (for the lack of a better/worse word) I've actually been feeling rather good about all of this in some aspects. Because I'm slowly returning to that old twisted self of mine that I so narcissistically adore(d). Hoho. Aren't we all glad now? Come on say yes. You so want to.

Okay so I still need to work on the old blogging ways (ya I don't want to keep writing like this), but some stuff is finally coming back with the ORD mood thing. So here's to ego, narcissism and a truckload of my nonsense.

++ quoth brrip at 11:45 PM

Friday, June 08, 2007

defining moments

By (mostly) a random coincidence, I was back in school today, and it so happened that june camp ran late this year, like every other year. Going back on wednesday for 3 Generation dinner really left me low, in a sense because im like part of the 4th Generation, and even though there was quite a bunch of us there, it just seemed odd.

Well either way, today was the last day, and i got the chance to watch another council go through the final traditions of june camp, and it's really funny because such moments just remain equally priceless from council to council. The outgoing council can't hold back the tears (try as they might) and the juniors can almost relate to what they're feeling without really understanding it. And oldies like us just stand there and think about our time, and just soak up all the memories that once came with this moment. Then there's that loud cheer, the most passionate one in the council term. Man, all that emoness is just so in the moment.

So here's a good luck to the 32nds, and yet another memory of our time as the 29ths. Because not every batch of the council is the 29ths. (so sayeth someone outside our council)

But love is worth the pain
And all tears you cry

*jonk took that pic.

++ quoth brrip at 8:57 PM

Sunday, June 03, 2007

blog entry

I think that's worthy of a title because it's something rare for me recently.

Well either way, all this not-blogging has kinda seen me through the time that I didn't need anything to be written down, to be read when a while has passed and I'm randomly bored enough (and rather egotistic as usual) to go and find pleasure in my own ramblings. I've been trying to figure out my direction in life, quite literally.

It's really odd because I've never sat down and thought about why these decisions actually require so much thinking on my part now, when all along the next step has been quite an obvious choice, in previous such decisions anyway. So it's true that the decisions are a lot harder, but somehow I think there's more to it than that.

All along, there has always been a foundation to base my decision on, and it's always seen me through. That's just how I thought it'll always be. And of late I never actually got around to realising that I no longer have that luxury, that there's nothing to base my decision on, that it's entirely a decision I have to make without the consideration of how it'll affect anyone.

So be it with resignation, the roll of a dice, sheer cold logic or some sudden burst of passion, I'll come to a decision.

When you need directions then i'll be the guide
For all time.

++ quoth brrip at 12:15 AM

Friday, April 20, 2007

bitchy bitchyness

Okay, so maybe less than half kept. Friday night,and I'm still angsty. Hur. It's always delightful to know that you're being missed, oh wait, NO IT'S NOT. Not this time. My weekend's shortened, can't wait for it to start. Tomorrow afternoon.

So maybe blogging on the move ain't so great. It's like angst disposal through a public medium. Sadly no formatting. Not until i brush up my html to at least a basic level.

++ quoth brrip at 5:51 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Test phone post

++ quoth brrip at 11:11 PM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

after 3 meals and less than one battery, i'm back.

but a promise half-kept is a promise broken.

++ quoth brrip at 9:35 AM

Friday, January 12, 2007

growing up.

I was gonna start this post with "I think there are people in this world who go about their business thinking that they invented the word 'wise', but it was ME" (or I if we were being grammatically correct, losing the dramatic emphasis) but then I figured that the subtelty of the sentence would be lost on the poor idiots. (and still is I'm sure) Well yes so they say you're supposed to get wiser along the way, about the choices you make and the way you make them, in your special little way.

I've heard this time and again - army makes boys into men. What that really means is that when you're in a job that you know you can't quit, you kinda figure out how to neutralise those little explosive emotions before they grow into something more and are expressed a bit too bluntly. So maybe all of us would learn faster with the system of extras, well for some cases they'd actually ever learn subtlety.

So is growing up a process where you learn when to keep your mouth shut, learning to take a stale perspective to things such that there's no conflict among the way you see things and the way others do, or actually rationalising things out with yourself till you're at peace?

hide behind the verses if you want, but you know growing up is more than that. at least take a look around.

P.S. I'm still a kid waiting for ORD, and for now I'll just live with the consequences of that. To DotA, and to MSN, and to everything that'll eventually lose priority to the things that are supposed to matter. Maybe also to blogging, for a completely different purpose.

[edit] darn I was supposed to start with the words I think, so it'd sound like it's my perspective and that I don't believe in this whole thing with a 100%. Ah well.

++ quoth brrip at 8:24 PM

Monday, January 08, 2007

Okay so maybe I got lazy and just shifted the boxes around using Dreamweaver. --> new template.

++ quoth brrip at 6:47 PM